I was pacing around the room. My nerves were frayed and I was having a hard time waiting. My mind whirled and I had butterflies in my stomach. “Oh, if I get this mentorship…” and I planned and dreamed and the anticipation of my acceptance grew and grew. He said he was making the announcement five minutes ago….why didn’t he send the email yet??? And then I got the email and my heart just dropped. I didn’t get it. Someone else was picked. Not me. I was angry, sad, and jealous all at the same time. A swirl of negative emotions hung over my head for weeks afterward. I felt cheated. I felt passed over. I was “bested,” and I absolutely hated it with all my being. I’m sure you have shared tho
As my eyes popped open (well, more like slowly, stubbornly creaked open), I was faced with another day. And I didn’t want to do any of it. I didn’t want to paint. I didn’t want to write. I didn’t want to mother. I didn’t want to adult. I was tired. Bone tired. This was how I felt at the beginning of the Christmas season this past year. I was dealing with creative fatigue that then overflowed into the rest of my life as a mom, wife and friend. I had deadlines to make and things I had to accomplish, but there was no joy in it. Rather than getting excited about a new piece or new opportunity, it all felt like a heavy weight. Not something else…. When you find yourself in a place like this,
