Coming Home VI: Moving from Judgment to Mercy

This is the final post in my Coming Home series. I hope it has been meaningful to take a deeper look at the different narratives woven through this collection.

I have never really considered myself a very judgmental person. I tend to look for the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. In many ways, I thought I was doing pretty well in this area until I began to sit more closely with what Jesus has to say in the Sermon on the Mount about judgment and its many forms.

So, what is judgment?

It can mean several things, evaluation, discernment, conclusion, or decision. But the way Jesus uses it is closer to condemnation, making unfavorable conclusions about people (Matthew 7).

It might sound like: 

“He or she always does this.” 

“They will never change.” 

“Typical.” 

“Karma.” 

“They are hopeless.”

It is our subtle way of placing people into categories, deciding who is “in” and who is “out.”

If you have ever been on the receiving end of this kind of judgment, you know how deeply it hurts. And while I have experienced it myself, I have also had to admit that I have stood on the other side, playing judge, juror, and executioner in my thoughts and in my words.

Sometimes it shows up quietly, withdrawal, silence, an eye roll, a snicker, or rehearsing someone’s faults with another person.

I do not like admitting this. It is uncomfortable to see. But when we name these things honestly, change can begin. Ideas, habits, and unconscious beliefs can start to be uprooted, making space for something new to grow.

Something like mercy.

Mercy begins when I step off the throne and resist the urge to make final conclusions about someone’s motives, their heart, or their story. This does not mean I stop discerning right from wrong. But it does mean I separate someone’s actions from their God given identity. I leave heart level judgment to God, especially when I barely understand my own. I also begin by examining my own motives and intentions.

Mercy moves me toward people, not away from them. Rather than settling for cold conclusions that were never mine to make, it opens the door to understanding, compassion, and humility.

Mercy might look like: 

Defending someone who is misunderstood. 

Choosing not to retaliate when wronged.

Meeting injustice with nonviolent words and actions that illuminate what is true. 

Treating someone like family in their need. 

Choosing generosity and trust over suspicion.

I have to remember that I long for mercy when I am weak, when I am misunderstood or clearly in the wrong. If that is what I desire for myself, then it is what I must choose to give (the Golden Rule, also found in the Sermon on the Mount).

I once thought I was nonjudgmental. But as I have sat with Jesus’ teachings, I have begun to see how often my heart forms quiet conclusions about others.

And so, little by little, I am learning to lay those down.

As I do, I find myself asking for mercy, too.

Thank you for following along in this series. I am grateful for what I am learning as I walk with Jesus, slowly, imperfectly, one step at a time. Spiritual formation is a lifelong journey, one that will not be complete until the new creation. But even now, He is gently shaping me, chipping away at rough edges and bringing new life with each surrendered step toward home.

You can see the whole Coming Home Series by clicking here.