Advent Series: From Cynicism to Hope

Starting Point: 

Every spring, I have high hopes for our backyard garden. Little by little, these hopes wither right alongside my tomato and pepper plants. By August, complete disappointment settles in, I allow the beds to go to seed, and I head to the grocery store, further convinced that my thumb is indeed as black as night. 

Sometimes, Christmas can feel like the end of a disappointing gardening adventure. It’s the end of the year when all our goals are supposed to be wrapped up and realized. We expect a high yield for all the hard work from the year. Unfortunately, when the harvest looks more like two shriveled, discolored tomatoes, disappointment starts to set in. 

Unmet expectations are part of reality in a broken world. In fact, they are a tool that God often uses to awaken us to deeper levels of untilled soil in the garden beds of our hearts.

It might look like: 

• Rejection from a program you’ve been diligently preparing for. 

• Career dreams falling apart despite your best strategies and implementation.

• A broken and dying relationship after years of sacrificial and faithful nurturing. 

• Continued pain and suffering after trying all the recommended therapies and medications with no answers on the horizon. 

That familiar letdown can quietly shape our beliefs, and we can find ourselves growing something we never intended: cynicism.  

Cynicism might appear in words or thoughts like these:

• What’s the use?

• Here we go again.

• That’s not surprising.

• We’ll see…

What happens when cynicism starts to grow out of disappointment? We start to turn away from the potential and promise within ourselves, others, and—most importantly—God. 

In my experience, the root of cynicism has been choosing to believe that God is not who He says He is. We believe He’s not trustworthy in His promises of goodness and strength as our world literally or figuratively dies on the vine. While cynicism often is directed toward the flaws of our fellow humans, this is just the symptom of a growing problem at the heart of the matter.  Faltering beliefs are often hidden beneath the surface, hard for us to admit or to even see at times. When we find ourselves holding shriveled produce, this is where we need to dig in to begin walking a different path toward hope. 

Destination

What does hope look like? Is it worth the effort? Cynicism, while miserable, feels safe. It doesn’t disappoint! Hope is risky and vulnerable, but hope, when placed in the unchangeable and unshakable character of God, can yield a harvest that will last for generations. Don’t get me wrong, there will be times where this harvest might be years or lifetimes in the making.  Just because it is slow does not mean it’s not worth the effort. 

Let’s look at an example from the Christmas story that often gets overlooked in the rush toward Bethlehem. Before angels sang and shepherds ran through the fields, there was an old priest named Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth. Scripture tells us they were “righteous before God,” faithfully serving Him year after year. But their deepest prayer—the desire for a child—went unanswered. In a culture where childlessness was seen as a mark of shame, they carried both the ache of disappointment and the whisper of “maybe God has forgotten us.”

And yet, they kept showing up. Zechariah continued his priestly duties in a temple system riddled with corruption. Elizabeth continued to serve quietly in her community. They believed God was good, even when their circumstances told a different story.

How did they hold fast to hope?

Hope has two parts: 1) thoughts/beliefs and 2) actions/behavior. 

We need to be diligent to place our hope in the correct person. Not ourselves. Not others. But in God, who has shown Himself to us in Scripture. Hope looks forward with anticipation of something being fulfilled. If beliefs are skewed and twisted regarding God and His world, hope has no place to sprout. If it is based on false ideologies, it will wither and die. 

In addition to aligned beliefs and thoughts, we also need aligned behavior and action. Notice that Zechariah still kept going to the temple and doing his job. If Zechariah had given into cynicism in his disappointing and frustrating circumstances, he probably would have stopped serving like his fellow priests (see link about Sadducees/priestly order) or stopped praying. And yet, he stayed faithful to his duties, trusting that God would keep His promises. 

Our actions will say a lot about the beliefs that we are carrying. 

Road Map

Cynicism isn’t healed through forced optimism and positive thinking. I know this personally, because I’ve tried!  It's healed through the work of the Holy Spirit and our partnership with Him in surrendering our thoughts through renewal in what is true, good, and right. 

In the midst of disappointment, don’t be afraid to take all your crummy circumstances and bring them to God in prayer with brutal honesty. Use the psalmists as an example. Tell God exactly how you feel about your situation. Don’t hold any punches. He can handle it and absolutely nothing will surprise Him. His desire is to have your heart, so bring it to Him with all its questions, anger, and hurt.  

After you’ve been honest about your disappointments, confess your false assumptions and beliefs, asking God to show you what is true about His character, His feelings about you, and His mission for our world. This is the point of turning (repenting), where you take responsibility for the beliefs that you have held on to that aren’t aligned with God’s Word. Find some trusted brothers and sisters in Christ to help you find those treasures in His word.  

In all of this, don’t forget to be still in God’s presence. Hope is founded in a deep trust of God. This is something we can’t manufacture through facts, theological “rightness,” or empty platitudes that we repeat over and over again. The Bible calls us to know God which points to an intimate and experiential knowledge. This requires space and time. Think about your most intimate relationships with friends and family. How did that happen?  A deep relationship with God requires the same. 

In the story of Zechariah, God ended up giving him nine months of forced silence to build a deeper knowing of God’s character and promises. As that time went by, Zechariah saw Elizabeth’s belly grow, noticing the fulfillment of a seemingly impossible promise coming to life. In that time, Zechariah’s hope was renewed and flourished. 

Through things like honesty, repentance, and stillness the Holy Spirit can unearth our hidden cynicism and replace it with an unshakeable heart that will nurture ourselves and those around us. I don’t know about you, but that’s where I want to go this Christmas.

Father, bring me straight to your promise of blessing and hope when cynicism begins to appear. 

---

I created an Advent Booklet that addresses the places we often find ourselves at Christmas and how we can create space and time for God's Spirit to help us travel to His heart of hope, peace, joy and love.

You can check it out right here.