Embracing the Whole

Collage layout for the new piece.

For the past several weeks, I’ve been working on a new painting. It has come together slowly—piece by piece, layer by layer. Though I didn’t set out to create a self-portrait, it seems God had other ideas. As I began gathering images, I found myself telling a story about wholeness, identity, and grace.

At first, I discovered three figures brimming with playfulness and boldness—qualities I long for and admire. Then came other faces: hesitant, withdrawn, even chaotic. I knew them too. As the collage grew, I realized what was being revealed: the many layers of me.

Some layers I cherish.

Others I wish I could discard.

Yet in this process, God’s Spirit gently reminded me that He delights in all of me. He is not disturbed by the tension or the contradictions. Instead, He patiently weaves every part into His ongoing work of formation.

The collage adhering of the new piece.

The Wholeness of Seven

In my research, I’ve been struck by the symbolic meaning of numbers in Scripture and in many cultures. Unlike the way we often use numbers simply to measure, they were seen as symbols of truth. The number seven, in particular, represents wholeness and completion.

Leaning into this symbolism, I chose to incorporate seven figures and seven literal numbers into the piece. This became my way of acknowledging my own complexity while affirming that every part belongs—that God designed me intentionally. Creating with seven was my response to the Creator: I will stop belittling, ignoring, or hiding the work He is doing in me.

Study of ferns to prepare for this piece.

The Grace of Ferns

Another layer of this piece is filled with ferns (that's the painting part) . To me, ferns symbolize grace. Their form reminds me of the quiet, patient unfolding of God’s work in us.

My friend Melissa shared a passage from Turning of Days by Hannah Anderson that deepened this connection for me. Anderson writes about how ferns grow by repeating the same patterns, each frond mirroring the last, a metaphor for how we grow in Christ. Just as the fern unfurls in a steady rhythm, our transformation unfolds in repeating patterns of grace, forgiveness, and love as we mirror His understanding of life, His words, and His actions. 

This imagery shifted the way I approached my work. Each painted frond became an act of meditation—a reminder that God is not hurried in His shaping of me, so I don’t need to rush either.

Layers of Grace

Since beginning this piece, I’ve found myself more patient with the transitions in my life—my studio move, my pursuit of further schooling, and the unfolding of the fall and winter season. Rather than anxiety, there is grounding. Rather than striving, there is trust.

The collage itself is layered: magazine images, sheet music, numbers, and fern after fern in shades of green. But more deeply, it is a portrait of grace upon grace—softening my steps, covering my imperfections, and leading me into peace.

I’m still unfolding. Still being formed. Still learning to embrace the whole.

If you’d like to see the finished piece once it’s complete, let me know—I’d love to share it with you.

Oh, and here are some other fern pieces...