Loving Your Own Path

When your path changes and it’s no longer going as planned, how do you still enjoy it?  Can you love a path that is hard or that surprises you? I’m not a big fan of just enduring to endure.  As someone who is very aware of the temporary nature of our time here on earth, I want to enjoy every minute I’ve been gifted.   This is so much harder to do than to say.  Loving the path you are on, be it planned or unplanned or something in between, has a lot to do with your travel companions, your “point”, your perspective and your pace. 

Recently, Tim and I tried cross country skiing.  Everything about the experience was new, from the equipment, the movement, and the terrain.   As we started, we had a map of trails…we saw some folks who seemed to know what they were doing and we asked them where to start.  We took their suggestion and started figuring out how to get into the tracks, move our feet and legs and then coordinate our poles.  Things were going pretty great.   

Then our path shifted a bit.  We found ourselves on a trail that didn’t have any tracks and seemed to constantly be going up hill.  If you’ve never cross-country skied before, uphill is NOT easy.  I struggled to make any forward movement and finally ended up taking off my skis until I could get to a level spot to try again.   

Another example of this would be my journey in motherhood.  I thought I knew the path I was embarking upon.  But the path I found myself on was much, much different.  I have two sons.  One with autism and another with ADHD.  They are both amazing, but the path I envisioned for them has been far different than the reality.  Often, I have felt like I’m cross country skiing uphill and just want to lay in the snow and quit.  

Same could be said for my art career.  Another example of thinking you are taking a path and then finding it change as you go.  

When your path changes and it’s no longer going as planned, how do you still enjoy it?  Can you love a path that is hard or that surprises you? I’m not a big fan of just enduring to endure.  As someone who is very aware of the temporary nature of our time here on earth, I want to enjoy every minute I’ve been gifted.   This is so much harder to do than to say.  Loving the path you are on, be it planned or unplanned or something in between, has a lot to do with your travel companions, your “point”, your perspective and your pace. 

Companions: When you get to pick your companions, pick friends that want to be there with you because they value you.  Likewise, be a companion that wants to see your travel buddy grow and thrive during their journey because you love him/her as a person.  Sometimes we travel alone, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have a companion on the path.  You have YOU.  Be a good companion to yourself as well.  Nothing is worse than having a complaint, negative, critical trail partner.  When the company is good, you’ll love the path you are on. 

Point: A “point” is someone who is leading.  This person can be called a sherpa, guide, etc.   Everything changes on a journey when you can trust your “point.”  Your “point” does the job of finding the way and you can fill your thoughts and vision with the beauty that you see on the way rather than worrying about getting where you are going.  For me, this is faith.  My “point” on every journey is Jesus. When I stopped trying to be the “point.”  I started having a lot more fun and peace on my paths.  If you’re not sure who is leading the journey, take some time to work that out in your thoughts.  We often take this job on for ourselves or place that burden on someone else we trust.   Check in…is this working?  What would it look like to either not have that job of “point” or to give it to someone who can do it better?   

Perspective: In my teenage and early twenties, I was ALL about the destination.  So much so that I would completely miss out on the joy of my company, and the lovely moments of beauty that were gifted on the trail.  In college, excellence was my destination and I didn’t see anything else as I muscled my way through four years.  In the end, I got exactly what I wanted. I was co-valedictorian of my class.  But when I got to my desired destination it was lonely and I didn’t really recall much of the journey because I refused to look anywhere but the current graded assignment or project.  

Thanks to my husband who is well-trained in enjoying the journey, I’ve had 20 years of learning that the destination is not the end all be all.  My perspective has changed dramatically from “we must get from point A to point B” to “let's take the most enjoyable path we can, even if it takes longer and let’s make sure we invite our favorite people to travel with us.”  When I use this perspective, it can be the most brutal path ever, but I still love every minute. 

Pace:  I’ve been practicing a slower pace of life for the last 2 years thanks to a great book called “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” by John Mark Comer.   On the outside, my pace may look fast, but the internal pace is much, much slower and I thank God for that.   Journeys are way more enjoyable when you aren’t racing to get where you want to be.  Stopping and resting to feel the breeze, listen to the birds, have lingering conversations with friends and your children, staying for ten more minutes to try to get your friend to use their magical laughter one more time…these things make the path more than a path, it makes the path a life well lived.  

If you want to check out the visual expressions of the many paths I’ve learned to love, head to my "Artwork" Gallery and see what is available.